I hope everyone is reminded that today is Patriot Day, a holiday of sorts that was sadly created to remember those who were injured or perished on 9/11/2001. Many will recall where they were, what they were doing when they heard the news and how this day would change our lives forever.
Today, we mourn friends, loved ones and souls we never met because we are all Americans. We are all Americans that stick together and feel the pain when so many of our citizens are hurting, grieving and quietly reflecting. We respect one another.
Somehow, we have American citizens who didn’t get that memo. For them, today has become some sort of political soap box to see who can scream the loudest about what disagreements they have with our government. Today is the day to use graphic images of someone’s father, son and husband bloodied and dying in Benghazi. Today is the day to show the Twin Towers collapsing at the very moment thousands would die to show disdain for our current administration. Today is the day to exploit the deaths of those in the Pentagon and Flight 93. These Americans Do Not reflect the true spirit of this great country of ours. They also do not deserve any more of my attention, for it is wasted energy.
I spent the day remembering old friends, trying to recall their faces and times spent together long ago. I also found myself thinking of all Patriots of this great country that have perished at the hands of the enemy, both foreign and domestic. I thought about the souls in Oklahoma City, Yemen, US Embassies in Beirut, Kuwait, Madrid, Pakistan. So fresh in our memories is Boston. So deep in our hearts, Pearl Harbor. I remembered the souls on the flight from Lockerbie Scotland, the hotel patrons in Mumbai, my dear friend and his fellow compatriots on their way home from a peace keeping mission, only to forever leave a hole in our hearts in Newfoundland. So many, we forget.
So today is Patriot Day. Not I Want To Complain About This Country Day. Use it to remember, unite and respect those who have paid the ultimate price.
I have to say that I am disappointed that I will not see Paula Deen on Food Network anymore. I liked her show. I’d just turn down the volume because, to me, her voice is equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. Despite the worst Southern drawl in recent history, we cannot deny that she is one hell of a cook.
Am I surprised by this story? Not in the least. This is a woman who was born in 1947 in Albany (pronounce AL-Bany) Georgia. Ni**er was probably the example for “N” in her childhood alphabet book, complete with a drawing of a little nappy, big lipped baby eating watermelon. So, when she was working as a bank teller, the bank was robbed and a black man held a gun to her head during the entire robbery. Did she have a right to express herself as she did by calling him the dreaded “N” word? Damn skippy, she did. I would have called him out of his name and his mamma too. Was it the best path of anger to take? Probably not. However, we cannot deny that people do say things out of anger. When are we all guilty of this behavior? That would be behind the wheel, my friends. I have been known to call people things that would make Katt Williams say “what the?”
Which brings me to the elephant in the room; Why are black people allowed to use the “N” word and nobody else? My response is that we should not. Our culture seems to be of two mindsets. Those who understand the pain that comes from the word and the generation that thinks it is an acceptable way to address one another. My mother was arrested and jailed on many occasions as she fought for our rights that so many take for granted. That said, this generation is totally unfazed by niggah niggah niggah. Apparently, if you use the GAH pronunciation, it’s acceptable. Perhaps if Paula had only said nigGAH instead of nigGER. Too much GER, Paula. Too much GER.
Last week, I read an old interview with the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, dated in 2006, where he basically stated that the store was only meant to cater to cool, skinny teens. You can imagine the backlash from those comments. Everything from videos showing people giving A&F clothing to the homeless, to Ellen DeGeneres giving Mike Jeffries the verbal beat down of the century.
Every retailer has a niche. Lane Bryant caters to larger gals, Gap to hipsters and bebe to the dreadfully tacky. Mr. Jeffries made a wrong turn when he equated weight to the coolness factor. Somewhere in his misguided life, I bet there’s a little fat boy who wasn’t very well liked. Not because he was fat, but probably because he was just an asshole. Grown up Mr. Jeffries just hasn’t figured that one out yet.
Now, in defense of clothing size. I don’t know where this idea came from that we women should be able to wear whatever we want. It simply isn’t true. When a pattern is created, it is created with a form in mind. This is why there are different cuts that flatter different shapes. A pair of short shorts in a size 6 does not translate well into a size 18. Nor should they. Pleated pants should be outlawed. Petit women should avoid full length anything. If you are over a size 20, bikinis don’t look good on you. You have every right to wear them, but face it, it’s not a good look, nor was the bikini designed for your body type. Spandex is a privilege, not a right. It’s as easy to dress like a skinny ho as a fat ho. The list is endless but keep in mind, the do’s far outweigh the don’ts.
This is not about positive self-image; it’s about the reality of knowing how clothes should properly fit your body and being conscious of correct styles that flatter your shape. You’re not proving a point to anyone by squeezing into booty shorts when the booty is hanging out all over the street. This rule applies to all sizes. That’s not sexy, it’s embarrassing.
Listen, clothes are all about proper fit, not popularity. However, I can guarantee you will be a hit for all the wrong reasons if the top you choose pushes your boobs up around your neck.
Your clothing choice is your calling card; your first impression. Make a positive one.